4 days ago my world was blown apart when the news arrived to me that my eldest sister- Claudette Burke had passed away. Emotions, tears, anger and the like seared through me at different points because all i could remember was the great future she still had ahead of her... the plans she had... the plans we had... at one point i was set on convincing myself that it was a terrible nightmare and that if i could just wake up, everything would be fine... but i wasn't sleeping, i was wide awake! And i have been wide awake for the last 4 days, looking at photos, reading old emails, reading old text messages and still texting you , calling your phones so i can hear your voice on your voicemail and watching your film clips online so i can see and hear the talent that coursed through your veins. To some you were a retired psych nurse that was on the brink of getting back into nursing, to others you were an aspirational actress doing amazingly at developing your talent, to some you were friend and best friend, auntie, daughter, god mother but to me you were my sister. Lets be real neither of us were perfect and we fell out sometimes like sisters do, but you was always my number one fan, always rooting for me even when i was upset with you and didn't want your applause! (lol) Friday you messaged me and told me how proud you was of the person i had become even in the face of adversity and said you couldn't wait for me to post more videos about my journey... Saturday you were gone!! They say time is a healer, but this is one wound- i fear will forever remain open, every holiday season, every birthday, your anniversary, i cannot currently see how this current world of pain will ever get better for me. November 16th - my birthday was the last day i saw you. You and our other sister came and commandeered me late in the evening to take me out for food just so i could celebrate even though i was not in the mood. I am so glad we went. I remember the last conversation that evening where you was recalling going to the barbers and how each week he wasn't cutting your hair properly and when you realised the week before you were paying £10 each week for him to barely snip the ends you went back in to him and told him off. He then told you to sit down and annoyed because you questioned his work he cut ALL your hair off. You said you made a google review and that each day you woke up and looked in the mirror and still felt angry, you would go back to google and add a bit more to the review and would continue to do so until it didn't upset you anymore. We laughed about it so hard whilst being in total shock at his actions, you always made me laugh with your out of this world stories and encounters. Little did i know the hug at the end of the evening would be my last with you. Little did i know that the calls i missed from you last week would be the last time i ever missed calls from you. Little did i know the texts on friday would be the last ones i shared with you. My heart is aching, but i continue to live, and you continue to live on in the people whose lives you impacted near and far. They say when we die, we never really die because our fragrance and memories continue to weave through our lives and time. You will forever be in my heart! You will never be forgotten by me and i will continue to strive towards greatness knowing that you would be here rooting for me all the way! Claudette Marcia Burke, i love you and have always loved you and that will never end. 6th April 1960- 30th November 2019. <3 <3 <3 .